·
All of the following example
categories are registered in Church files or taken from court documents
in cases of priest abusers.
·
Most people are somewhat shy about
their sexual life. Priests are especially so because complete abstinence
is expected of them. If lay people are subject to denial and blindness
about sexual activity of clergy because they idealize them, priests
often need to deny sex in the ranks to protect themselves from the guilt
and embarrassment they feel for any of their own slips and faults. If
that is the situation, a priest should deal with it. He should educate
himself and rededicate himself to celibacy.
·
It is common knowledge that clergy
are not adequately educated about sex and celibacy within the system.
But every priest’s sexual/celibate life is his own responsibility in
spite of the fact that bishops and superiors have a canonical
responsibility of oversight. He has no right to blame anyone else. If he
takes full accountability for his own celibate practice and sex
education he will be prepared to protect the priesthood and his flock
from abuse.
·
Pedophilia is a special kind of
sexual urge. Men whose preferential sexual objects are children are
called pedophiles. Men who prefer sex with adolescents are termed
ephebophiles. But one should not get hung up or frightened by terms. We
need to look at people, their actions, and not labels or we will loose
focus. What we want to be alert to is potential harmful tendencies (even
in ourselves) or behavior in men who may have many winning qualities and
even superior assets. But some men can be a danger to others,
themselves, and the church because they receive sexual gratification and
satisfaction from fantasies and physical contact with minors.
·
Actions follow fantasy. Fantasies are
often prompted by the use of photographs, pornographic art or writings
about sexual activity with minors. Some of these materials can be used
in the process of grooming and seducing a victim.
·
Although it is not possible to know
another person’s fantasies there are indicators of a priest’s sexual
development and interests:
·
Frequent or habitual abuse of alcohol
or drugs by a priest is often of sign of celibacy-in-trouble and
sometimes a marker of an abuser of minors.
·
Any priest who gives alcohol or drugs
to a minor is a suspect for abuse.
·
A priest who is clearly socially more
comfortable with minors—especially if restricted to one gender or age
group—rather than companions of his own age or status raises suspicions
about his affective life and sexual intentions, especially if he spends
excessive time with one or another minor.
·
Priests who have an overly rigid
personality and an unreasonable inflexibility may harbor sexual secrets,
including abuse of minors.
·
Clergy who are irresponsible with
church funds can be and often are sexually immature.
·
Any sex education of minors by a
priest not conducted in public and open to scrutiny and observation is
suspect.
·
A priest who shares his room at night
or sleeps in the same bed with a minor is a suspect for sexual abuse.
·
Priests who recreate nude with minors
or encourage them to get nude are open to suspicion.
·
A priest who gives substantial
material gifts to a minor raises legitimate suspicions about his sexual
integrity.
·
Priests who collect sexually explicit
materials like magazines, photographs, DVDs, videotapes, books, and
slides of minors are suspect for abuse.
·
Priests who use the Internet to
contact minors for sex or to download child pornography are already
committing a crime even if they have not yet touched a child.
·
Predators often keep and store their
sexually explicit materials or letters and can use them in the seduction
of a minor.
·
Priests who abuse frequently take
pictures of minor victims in various stages of undress. They can also
keep diaries and records of their victims and their exploits.
·
Photos of victims (the priest may
think of them as cherished friends) are frequently kept and treasured,
often to revive fantasies.
·
Photos or videos of the priest with
minors in compromising situations are used for recurrent stimulation and
at times as vehicles for control or blackmail of the victim.
·
Priests who frequent pornographic
bookstores, XXX movies, and peep shows are seriously endangering their
celibacy. These activities can set them up to exploit minors even if
that is not their preferential mode of sexual release.
·
Priests often have friends, clerics
or lay, who share similar interests in sex with minors. The Internet has
facilitated opportunities for like-minded men to share their interests
and contacts.
·
Priests who keep extremely irregular
hours, spend excessive time at the homes of unknown companions,
“disappear” on their days off or vacation with minors, or in areas where
child prostitution is prominent can be suspect for abuse and need to
make an open account for their time and activities.
·
Priests who abuse frequently pose intrusive questions about sex to
minors in the confessional. This is a sign of danger that parents and
fellow priests should be aware of. Confession has been for centuries one
of the dangerous points of contact for clerical seduction and a priest
who is overly curious about the sex lives of his penitents should be
avoided and monitored.
·
Priests who have "candy shops" and "game rooms" that attract groups of
kids to their rectories have frequently been abusers.
·
Tickling, that can seem so innocent, often is not. Priests should not
tickle youngsters. Abusers often start their seduction with this
seemingly innocent contact. The same is true for priests who take
children on their laps. Because these activities seem so harmless many
children have been tricked into permitting intimate touches.
·
Abusers also wrestle with adolescent boys. This is not harmless
""horsing around." It, too, is often an element that leads to sexual
touching and more intimate contact.
·
Priests who abuse minors give plenty of signs that their activity is
out of line. Because they seem kind and go out of their way to help
youngsters (whom they genuinely like) and because they can establish an
unusual rapport with children, families and even fellow priests
disregard the obvious danger signs and deny the potential for harm.
Priest abusers have frequently been appointed as scout leaders, youth
ministers, and vocation directors. All these positions merit special
consideration beyond the interest of the priest.
Clergy in general have
neglected the vigilance that celibate practice demands. Were it not so the
crisis of sexual abuse of minors could not have existed in the American
church for as long and extensively as it has. Because one is himself free
of guilt for abusing a minor can he claim guiltlessness for his denial and
tolerance of his brother priest’s abuse?
In many cases the red
flags and danger signs of abuse of minors are obvious and all over the
place once a colleague opens his eyes to what is in plain sight.
It is not nosey, out of
line, or intrusive to care about the bond that unites the priesthood as
surely and intrinsically as a marriage bond—the commitment of celibacy.
Perhaps celibate fidelity is more necessary for preserving the church from
the greatest moral violation—hypocrisy—than any other dedication.
Celibacy is the
Church’s public promise and assurance that every priest is sexually safe
and trustworthy. It is not simply an individual trust, but a reciprocal
bond between the Catholic Church and its people. The assurance of the
celibacy of Catholic clergy is exchanged for the trust, respect, belief,
support, obedience, and allegiance of the faithful. The faithful in turn
receive comfort, forgiveness, and salvation.
That exchange could be
redefined, but as of now it exists as a corporate responsibility and
involves priests as well as bishops.